manifest destiny

shades of gray clouded every street

and the crumpled paper skies began to unfold

surrounded us in exponential quantities

and swallowed every definition whole

the last body of land

was dutifully noted and ignored

and the entities beyond my hands

we're brushed closer in a comb overboard

an illusion of stillness

has overcome this newborn ocean

in the air i feel each subtle movement ripple

like a rock hurled across the surface

this is the limit of my reach, stretched out

for all of the water to see, and recede

for what it was worth, i reached out

as far as the firmament allowed me

as far as from sea, to shining sea.

from sea to shining sea

the last thing she said

betrayal seems like more of a trait than a choice one makes, to me

my mind and my spine back-stabbing one another constantly

the last thing she said was "thank you", but i refuse to believe

in my lack of self honesty, that i deserve such an honest apology

the last thing that she's said was "sweet dreams", 

that there was absolutely nothing wrong with me... for crying at separation

but i feel it creeping in my bones, my skin and my teeth

a carnal manifestation of testamentary destiny

and it's a good thing, it's a great thing

my empty arms and the heart between their sea-less shores

it'll still save you from the pain, and the worry in my words

when i say i'm not fine, i'll be fine, i'm alright

now i'm forced make a choice between the options that i have

without the 20 questions, or any textbook to help me understand

in light of all these pointless things, i finally feel the weight of the poetic oceans

symbolism, similes and metaphors, traded for empty breaths

and it's a good thing, it's a great thing

my empty arms and the heart between their sea-less shores

it'll still save you from the pain, and the worry in my words

when i say i'm not fine, i'll be fine, i'm alright

the first thing she said was "i promise"
the first thing she said was "i promise"

when i speak to god i speak astronaut

i've never felt so lonely

in the company of satellites

passing me by for a fleeting streak

and onto a different course of allignment

on through more and more dead space

the universe furthermore expanding

with each word my heart attempts to speak

i turned to the starlit streets

in the company of cardboard stories

making me feel a bit more homely

to a different homesick fleet

warning lights flashing in the atmosphere

shining through more and more dead space

with each time my heart decides to breaks

don't call me a savior,

cause i'm not

i'm just a fallen cosmonaut

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nuclear skeletons


you slowly but surely found your smile again
picking up from the place where you last left it up north
taking love from the top of an hourglass;
don't let it get to you... it's worth so much more than just sand.

i've read and heard things i shouldn't have, in the past few days
it turns out that love, is exactly the same thing as hate
and the indifference between them within me now plagues your mind;
and we're both so tired of trying to fight against my disguise.

it is only a matter of time love,
it is only a matter of time

i feel there is nothing left to say,  besides good night or good bye
and i'll hold myself as high as when i used to dream about other things
"what happened to everything you said to me" i find myself wondering
and perhaps i will find myself awake again, just waiting...

because it's only a matter of time love,
it's only a matter of time.

and i'll realize that what you had done was right
i'm sorry i can't promise you that i will be alright
but someday, i will have faith, rest assured.
with gentiles under-waged and over-worked.

it's time, love, it's time
it's time, love, it's time

it's time, love, it's time
to open my eyes
it's time, love, it's time
to open my eyes

i'll hold my breath, i'll hold it in
until i either explode or simply drown
a bomb in the middle of the ocean,
with my nuclear skeleton, and these hopeless sounds

a change of clothes

endless rays of morning sun

cascading through the window onto her face

our bodies lined like soldiers

parallel and covered, touching in delicate places

i get that guilty feeling in my stomach 

for the hundred-thousandth time

i gently break the silence

as the bed creaks beneath my spine

she's a heavy sleeper

and i'm just staring at her from the door

i feel like a fanatic

cause i've seen this scene a hundred thousand times before 

i whisper "i'm sorry" and say good bye 

for the hundred-thousandth time

i gently break the silence

as the floor creaks beneath my stride

it's become recreation, it's just a sport

i gave her the slip and walked out the door

hopefully, she'll smile and get up, 

when she reads, "i'm sorry i can't stay, but i'm still in love"

"i'm sorry i can't stay, but i'm still in love"

 "i'm sorry i can't stay, but i'm still in love"

 "i'm sorry i can't stay, but i'm still in love"

and she'll laugh, the hundred-thousandth and one

nostalgia, love, and paper plates (fleeting moments)

only four more days
and i will finally be able to put this year behind me
and i won't toast
with this champagne glass of memories that stain me
i spent the summer
all up and down, 64 and 95
until i finally found a comfort
but my arms couldn't stretch but so wide

i will vanish
amongst all of the liquor and party hats
countless paper cups
from the drunken new age blow backs

have faith in me

and my hand that waves good bye

to all these fleeting moments

that have long since died

publicly buried

in the back of my mind

there's no need for celebration

i just want to rest my head tonight.

once i do this, i know that i won't be able to go back
and though i will try to forget you, and these times
i can't say assuredly that i won't miss you,
somewhere along the next twelve chapters of my life

have faith in me

and my hand that waves good bye

to all these fleeting moments

that have long since died

publicly buried

in the back of my mind

there's no need for celebration

i just want to rest my head tonight.

so i will say goodbye and i will try my hardest,
 not to turn around on my choice, in earnest
though there are sign this will be made right
guiding me in this endless darkness of the night
and like you say, it could always be worse
but i don't give a damn about anything
but the way i'll feel on January first

this birthday i have no resolution for
this birthday i have no resolution for

a farewell to arms

with every breaking bone

each inch of wasted marrow in my soul

i miss you so

with each lonely stone

each inch of wasted rubber in my soles

i miss you so

kiss me good morning

kiss me good night

wave good bye

i will not tempt time

while it passes me by

i will simply smile

and wave simple good bye

haystraw in a needlestack

my eyes were wide open

like the mouth of the beast

hiding from his dreams

underneath my bed 

wide and awoken

by the sound of an airplane

flying through the sky

high above my head

and i wondered to myself

"is this all i'll ever be?"

the sleepless spare puzzle piece

in everyone's existence

never moving

never moving

along

my arms were discouraged

like the dimples on your cheeks

it's only a few weeks

before you'll feel the itch again

it's suddenly shifting

like tectonic mental breaks

if only you will wait

you'll find a friend, in me

and i wonder to myself

"is this all i'll ever be?"

the friendless spare puzzle piece

in everyone i know

never moving

never moving

along

i can hear the first dissonant notes

i can see the first two-left-footed steps

of the same old song and dance

it's the same old song and dance

burning the institutions

this is the greatest, this is the latest, this the farewell party

old friends and bill collectors neatly dressed in freshly ironed sunday's best

amidst all the abundant joy in death and against all expectations

in order to revere they abandon all their happiness and recreation

the pulpit was filled with the poisons of the widow

i got bored so i turned to look out the window

the birds amongst the trees and the summer's lively breeze

i don't think i've ever felt closer to God

if this is what it's like to remember the joy in someone's life

it's the only thing that's keeping me alive, the smiles of those i love remaining bright

i'll disappear and run away
but i'll leave you with with an open ending

so you'll search for me instead of just remembering
cause at best, i just can't let you forget me

kansas city

i speak to myself as if i were fluent
in the tongue of the dead
don't look too deep in the seating
cause there's nothing between the cushions for you to see

i could go home, i could lie down,
i could forget, everything
and the cold winter sun
could solemnly be
the last honest face
to whom i can speak
and i'm not afraid of what i can't see
cause the scariest things, are hiding from me
for i am the worst, i am the peak
i am in love with an artificial heartbeat

and i could leave it all behind me
without a second guess or any chance of complications
please don't be angry, you know it's not worth it
because you know i would if I really thought that i could love you

or i could go to kansas city
where the cold winds shutter around me like a lens
and the linen streets are filled with second chances
and christmas tourists all year-round

i could go home, i could lie down
and sleep it off, in the snow
to dream about lights, leading you home
from my burning bones, covered in smoke
my ashes alight, with lanterns at sea
vindicating currents, calling to thee,
lighting the way, for lacking intrigues
or color in life, with the shading in me

and i could leave it all behind me
without a second guess or any chance of complications
please don't be angry, you know it's not even worth it
because you know i would if I really thought that i could love you

i could leave it all behind me
(but i couldn't leave you behind)
without a second guess or any chance of complications
(but i couldn't leave you behind)
please don't be angry, you know it's not worth it
because you know i would if i really thought that i could love you

i could go home, i could lie down
i could forget everything
lost in the spit, and tingling spines
we could recall, the last time we seemed
alive

time capsules in heaven's soil

if i try to remember the first time we kissed
it will surely be the last time i breathe
my lungs would fill fully, with your omnipotent beauty
and my heart would be consumed in the fire
when an endless moment like this
is mixed with all the endless moments like these
it can make the seas seem to collectively
draw their lines out to me

one day soon now, while i'm young and restless
or some day later on, when i'm gray and told
now all my friends have gone with the winter wind
and shed their leaves on me for the last time
please plant my body like a solemn seed
6-feet deep in heaven's soils
my endlessly withered soul will bloom for you
as my restless eyes take dreamless root
all alone to walk these endless routes

i'm running out of time
with each and every waking dream
the stars have finally begun to die
we're all slowly running out of time

i've been searching for my breath since the moment we met
i've been searching for my breath since the moment you left

in the stopwatch anatomy of nuclear skeletons

1. time capsules in heaven's soil 

2. kansas city

3. in the stopwatch anatomy of nuclear skeletons

4. manifest destiny


5. head above water

6. nostalgia, love, and paper plates (fleeting moments)


7. the last thing she said